My English

My English lies over the ocean
My English lies over the sea
My English lies over the ocean
Oh bring back my English to me
Bring back, bring back
Bring back my English to me, to me

Guah kerja seruangan dengan seorang bule asal Amrik.. Dia ga bisa bahasa Indonesia, apalagi bahasa Manado.. Dan, yang jadi masalah adalah ketika guah harus bicara ama dia.. I must speak English.. And you know, my English is not sooooo good.. Betawi speaking is blepotan (kalo kata orang Betawi itu blepotan)..

Suatu hari, siang itu di perusahaan guah lagi menyediakan makan siang.. Menunya pecel.. Si bule pun bertanya ama guah..

“Roy, what do we have for lunch today?”

“Hm. Pe-pecel, Sir.”

“Pecel? What is pecel ?”

“Hm.. You know, mix vegetables…”

“Ah. Do you mean salad ?” potong si bule..

“Salat? For Isya or Ashar?” Guah ngaco..

“Heh?”

“Hm.. Ya, it’s looked like salad. But it has, hm, peanut sauce as its topping.”

“Sounds yummy.”

“Ye-yeah. I think soooo.”

Lain lagi dengan hari ini.. Salah satu rekan kantor guah ga masuk karena sakit.. Lagi-lagi si bule nanya ke guah..

“Roy, where is Ellen?”

“She sick, Sir. Hm. Bloody fever.”

“BLOODY FEVER?”

Panik, guah buru-buru buka google..

“No. Itu, Sir,” Englishnya pun tembel-tembelan, “Dengue fever.”

Hell yeah.. Bloddy Fever! Stupid me..